Have you ever found yourself doing something and wonder “how did this happen?” It usually happens to me when I discover I’ve scarfed a full bag of white cheddar cheese popcorn. Of course, I realize it after the fact, when I’m trying to artfully hide the bag in the garbage. What happened? I developed a habit unconsciously. Some habits are …
Change, change, change…..
“Why is change so hard?!” This plaintive statement I’ve heard from clients (and muttered myself once or twice with added emphasis). Change is difficult because of two very important “laws” of nature. One from the world of physics and another from neuroscience. If you don’t remember Newton’s first law of motion, it’s okay. To paraphrase Newton, an object endeavors to …
Mind-Rut Thoughts
Most of us are oblivious to our repetitive thoughts until we experience the consequences of our actions.
Start Small
I was on a padded table, head on a pillow, a cushion beneath my knees. Soothing music played in the background, and the lights were dim. The woman with smiling eyes began by lifting my ankles and holding them gently. After a few moments she moved up to my spine, placing her hands underneath my backbone, making very subtle movements. …
How Does the Environment Affect You?
I entered the garden through a metal gate within a gray concrete brick wall. Straight ahead was a walkway and a three-story chorten (stupa) that looked like a large white and gold vase. Instead of flowers, there was a pyramid-like pillar topped by a crescent moon and sun. Each tier was encompassed by a white wrought-iron fence that looked like …
Introverts, Extroverts and Science
Extroverts, Introverts, and the Brain’s Reward Center As an introvert, I’ve always been intrigued (and at times annoyed) by the ability/propensity of extroverts to talk as much as they do, especially about themselves. Before I really understood how extroverts were wired, I used to think they were unusually self-absorbed. However, it is just that extroverts process information more externally, while …
Who Do You Want To Be?
“How do I stay true to myself?” “How do I remain authentic?” These questions and others like them are questions I hear regularly. And each time I’m asked these types of questions, I respond: “Who do you want to be?” and “How do you want to behave?” I’m not trying to be a smart-alec. I recognize that questions about authenticity …
Would you rather be right……or connect?
Most people think that the way to connect with others is to talk to them. It’s a well-practiced behavior, but is in fact, a myth. The way to connect with people is to listen. There’s an old saying, “We were given one mouth and two ears for a reason.” I always thought that was because listening is harder. In many …
Assumptions to Mindsets…..What are your Assumptions?
Someone asked me a few weeks ago, “Were you a cheerleader in high school, someone who was popular?” “No” I replied. “Well, I just can’t figure you out” she said. That exchange keeps wafting through my mind. At the time, I was astounded that someone could think I was a cheerleader or one of the “in crowd.” Upon reflection, the …
Unfold Your Own Myth
What do you have on walls of your office, cubicle, or space where you work? The walls of my home office are filled with prints, paintings, colorful tiles, a large stained glass mirror my sister made for me, multiple clocks, and two wall calendars. It’s not that I forget what day and date it is (although that happens occasionally), or …
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